You know you want US

PLAYHOUND NO. TWELVE!

2006-09-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hello PGM Fans! Did you guys miss us and our orrnaye posts or what?! We apologise for the lack of updates. We, namely WM, Joo, Poo and Moo, have been really busy with our secret sexual affairs with hot hot hot celebrities and male models and everything. :) So yes, SORRAYE ABOUT THAT!

Unto the next man who has made it unto PGM's Playhounds honour list.

We all know him. We all lust after him. We all want him to kidnap us and whisk us away into a life of adventure, excitement and HOT HOT SEX. We all want him to be the pirate of our dreams, and rape us on the Cursed Black Pearl.

JOHNNY DEPP, please fuck me UPSIDE DOWN.

OH MY SHIT. HOW CAN ANYBODY BE SO SEXY?!!???!

GROWL FOR ME AND I WILL LIE NAKED AND PROSTRATE ON THE FLOOR WITH MY LEGS OPEN FOR YOU, MY DARLING.

It's impossible right. Every single part of his body is so fucking arousing. Each and every tattoo he has makes me cum a waterfall. Every single strand of hair on his body makes me writhe in pleasure and groan in wonder.

This was taken after we had 896789423769873 hot love-making sessions.

And the best thing is that he's like .. 43? How can someone who is 43 years old be so hot?! And moreover, he is married to some FRENCHIE! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! Okay, I have nothing against Frenchies. I mean, hello? My great-grandfather is a Frenchie. But like ... WHY GO FOR THE WINE-DRINKING, EIFFEL TOWER-CLIMBING, CROISSANT-MUNCHING FRNECHIE WHEN YOU HAVE ME, THE CHAR KWAY TEOW-EATING, HOKKIEN-SWEARING, SUPER GLAMOROUS ME?!?! AM I NOT HOT ENOUGH? WHY JOHNNY, WHYYYYY?!

OH MY FUCK YOU ARE SO HOT LAH OH FUCK OH FUCK I AM GOING TO CUM NOW.

I am actually the Piano you see okay. You see his fingers? They are actually caressing my hot hot body. It's just that they thought it would have been too obscene so they photoshopped a piano in. Otherwise the undoctored picture would show him with his fingers in my flowery vadge.

And this is him reacting to the first time I stripped naked in front of him. Look at that expression of amazement and adoration for my hot and naked body.

RAPE ME. RAPE MY VADGE. RAPE MY HOT AND WAITING BODY. RAPE MY MOUTH. RAPE MY EYES. RAPE EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY BODY, YOU HOT HOT LOVE MACHINE!

After another one of our long lovemaking sessions. You see him outside our lakehouse, enjoying an ice cold beer.

Fuck off, Kate Moss. Go take more drugs or something and kill yourself because Johnny no longer wants you, he wants me now.

Me and my hot body. :)

WINNING ELEVEN PART DEUX.

2006-07-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Prahni, there're more pictures from that campaign. Just so you'd know, my colleagues all went crazy over them. Cheers! :)

WAH CB DAMN HOT LAH. But the Italians are still cheating little fuckers. Pfft.

THE WINNING ELEVEN

2006-07-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Since Italy won the world cup and there are 11 players in each football team, it would be very apt to see some HOT HOT HOT pics of these HOT HOT men.

TA DAAAAAAA.
I present to u the hotness that is the italian team in their teensy weensy underwear.

I know that these pictures are all over the bloody place.
BUT I JUST CANNOT GET ENOUGH.
so BLOODY FARKING hot. (:
D&G is brilliant.

The perfect number 10

2006-07-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

If you know what the Basilisk in Harry Potter is then you surely know what a fearsome creature it is. But Harry destroyed it by using a toothpick to clean its teeth. Which is very manly. But however, this time round it has revived in the form of a phenomenon.

The basilisk killed people with just its eyes. But it was hard making people stare into its eye as they were relatively small. Thus after years of evolution, it has perfected monstrosity.

PUT YOU HANDS TOGETHER FOR..................
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THE....
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Its face so seductive it'll make you wanna stare at her boobs.

Even the 21st Century Gay icon Draco malfoy(nothing is gayer than that) is oggling at her boobies.

Wonderful. Let's all die.

JULES'S PLAYHOUND NO. NINE.

2006-07-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Everybody, listen up. For this is DA REAL SHIZZLE MO' FIZZLE GIZZLE DRIZZLE, YO.

Introducing the latest hottie who has recently made it into the highly coveted PGM List of Playhounds:

MARC-ANDRE GRONDIN (star of C.R.A.Z.Y. and hot, gentle lover of mine).

He is just so hot. HE IS JUST SO HOT.

YOU ARE JUST SO HOT, MARC-ANDRE GRONDIN! I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND MAKE YOU MINE. I WANT YOU ALL FOR MYSELF AND MY HOT VAGINA. I WANT YOU TO COME TO MY HOUSE EVERY NIGHT SO THAT WE CAN ENGAGE IN PASSIONATE LOVE-MAKING SESSIONS. I WANT YOU TO IMPALE ME WITH YOUR HOT SWORD OF LOVE. I WANT TO HEAT YOUR METAL ROD ON FIRE SO YOU CAN BURN ME WITH SWEET SWEET LOVIN'. I WANT YOU TO EXPLORE EVERY NOOK, CRANNY AND FAT LUMP ON MY BODY WITH YOUR TONGUE. I WANT TO RAVAGE YOUR MOUTH. I WANT TO RAPE YOU AND KEEP YOUR PRIDE IN MY POCKET. I WANT TO BREAK YOU INTO HALF SO THAT I CAN HAVE TWO MARC-ANDRE GRONDINS. I WANT TO SHOWER YOU WITH MY LOVE AND RAINBOW-COLOURED CUM. I WANT TO ENVELOPE YOU IN MY BOSOM. I WANT TO BURY YOU IN MY SECRET GARDEN WHERE THERE IS NO SUN BUT PLENTY OF WHITE-RIVERS.

I am good with metaphors. I'm on a roll, damnit.

I want to lick your hot rod of lovin', Marc Andre. Please allow me the pleasure.

See this? He's fighting with the director because the director wanted him to suck cock FO' REALZ, Y'ALL. As you can see from the direction his finger is pointing to, I'm right behind the camera, watching him. He didn't suck cock in the end because I was at the shoot, and he didn't want to suck anything or anyone else but me. It was either me or nothing, and since I'm simply too hot to be on caught on camera, it was scrapped off the final script. SO SWEET EH? Putting his job on the line just for me.

Even as he's dressed up as David Bowie the fag, he STILL looks hot! Don't you feel like masturbating now?

I do.

PLAYHOUNDS SEVEN & EIGHT.

2006-06-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Since we are all in the World Cup mood, PGM will present the two soccer players who have made it into our infamous Playhounds list.

PLAYHOUND NO. SEVEN:

ANDRIY SHEVCHENKO (can suck my vagina for the rest of my life).

You see that girl he's lying on? That's actually me before I went through plastic surgery to become prettier and hotter than ever before.

Look at him. He's so happy, and him being happy makes ME happy. We have a very give-and-take relationship. Like when he has his orgasms, I'm happy. After which, he will then proceed to give me 4896581936589662 orgasms because he loves me so much.

The paparazzi needs to start leaving us alone man. I mean, is it our fault that we make such a hot and handsome couple?

LOOK AT HIS CONTENTED SMILE! This was taken right after we had sex for 15 straight days. Yeh, he had to take leave from his soccer-playing for AC Milan to have sex with me. Evidently it did wonders for his goal scoring because after that, he was named European Footballer of the Year. :) Ahh, and you see me? I look so hot in my sexy lingerie right. Yeh, I actually look much much better now.

Andriy Shevchenko. I want to marry you and bear you millions of children because you've got an Empire State Building Penis that jetsprays your sperms out into my floral patterned vagina with my Magical Fairy Ovaries and Golden Cum.

PLAYHOUND NO. TWO:

Fredrik Ljungberg (can model cK underwear for me all day long).

HIS PACKAGE IS SO BIG RIGHT?! ALL FOR ME. ALLLLLLL FORRRRR MEEEEEE! Yeh, if you didn't know, Freddie's a cK underwear model. I was the one who told him to take it up lah. I mean, hello. This gives me free rein to lust after his JUMBO-SIZED DHL package in public.

Dear Freddie Ljungberg,

I cannot help but lust after you. You are nothing else BUT HOT, and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. Your body, your face, your penis, even your botak head, I love them all. Oh, how I long to caress your botak head and tell you how much I want you to rub me all over and give me many many sexy times.

I mean, I love you so much that I don't even care that you are gay. Perhaps that is why you look so happy when the Arsenal streaker ran to hug you:

But how can you be happy when this guy, this streaker is so ugly? He even has ugly pubes, and that's just not glamorous at all. His penis is so flaccid and his pubic hair is as sparse as the African savannahs.

HOW CAN YOU GET TURNED ON BY IDIOTS LIKE THESE?

I, on the other hand, can give you many many sexy times. I can rub you all over with oil and turn you straight with my Golden Cum and Magical Ovaries. I will make you cum 48753897894577982 times in one minute and that will make you regret that you ever became gay in the first place. I will pleasure you by touching your g-spot in your prostate and make you shudder in happiness and joy.

I will pleasure you so much that instead of sitting on balls like these:

The only balls you will be sitting on will be my two big balls = Jules's two very humongous and welcoming BFP (Breasts of Fire and Passion).

Yes. My BFP has nipples that will shoot out fire when stimulated because I AM VERY HOT.

See? Remember when you didn't even have a hard on when the slut was pressing her tits on your chest? That's because her tits doesn't match up to my BFP right? Remember after this photo shoot, we had hot sex on the same bed and the camera crew had filmed us because they wanted to release it as a movie entitled 'Freddie & Jules: The Magical Fairy Fountain of Diamond-Studded Cum'.

I icecreamcone you a lotzxz, Ljungberg. Marry me and be mine.

<3 always,

Jules and her BFP.

P L A Y H O U N D SEX(six)

2006-06-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

We apologise for the lack in updates due to our busy sexdules(schedules).

The past weeks have been brimming with footBALLS action. Lots of handball penalties too.

We have been so active in our sexcapades that our chee bais have turned soggy. It's time we take a short break to update a little to rejuvenate and tighten our loose muscles.

If you've noticed, most of the men we've featured are rather manly as they have longer penises and bouncier balls.

But it's time for some CLASS.

Welcoming..........

There's so much to gain from shagging a prince. Better yet, marrying him.

If you do marry him you can officially call yourself a princess. Not that we really care because the authors of PGM are known as fairy princesses the world over.

But imagine the political power you get if you marry Prince Harry. You get the royal treatment(in bed) and people call you your highness.

And when you become a princess you automatically grow a glittery harry winston diamond vulva. WHich will enable you to have mind-blowing sex without worrying about your fallopian tubes falling out.

Being a princess also entitles you to spend taxpayers money while just looking pretty. But if i was the princess of Wales it'll turn into a third world country from all my spending.

Here you see him playing ball. I don't know what the fuck he's holding but its phallic and full of sexual representation. Don't ask me if my genitals look like that because they are in a constant state of change: pretty, prettier, Prettiest.

But seriously, I believe I can contibute to society if I become the princess. Imagine Tony Blair giving some shitty speech where no one gives a testicle about and i suddenly start gyrating my hips ala shakira style on International TV. Everyone will just sit up and start getting interested in Politics because its not a sham as my hips don't lie.

PLAYHOUND NO.5

2006-05-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

forgive joo for her inability to count, heath ledger was playhound no. 4. not 3. we all know that she uses her tits more then she does her brains - you have to understand. ok.. MOVING ON.

ITS TIME FOR SOME BROWN SUGAR (:

other then having lovers such as heath ledger (jules u slut, he's mine) and hugh jackman, i somehow find the time for some ethnic love - i mean u cannot expect these ang mohs to know the kama sutra. but SHAH RUKH KHAN on the other hand - he's like an expert. making me one very happy indian chic.

oooo. him looking all spiffy in a suit. i like my men to look good in suits. (:

that's him looking all hot after a shower that we had TOGETHER.
WAH, CAN MAKE EVERYTHING EXPLODE.

that's us looking at the sunrise together. we didnt sleep the entire night - so busy.
i know, i know i look damn different in a sari. like that one laaaaa.

that was just a few hours after the picture before this - poor thing.
i TOTALLY tired him out.

anyone up for some chocolate??

JULES'S PLAYHOUND NO. FOURRRRRR.

2006-05-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

Everybody. Behold the new addition to the PGM's Playhound series:

HEATH LEDGER.

See this picture? We took it after having hot hot sex for six weeks, non-stop.

Sometimes, Heath and I climb trees to pretend to be squirrels.

Heath opening his legs for me to devour his HCL (~~Higher Chinese Language~~ Hot Cock of Love) and swallow it whole.

Yeh, you don't know this but I was actually on the set of Brokeback Mountain. After having sex with Jake, he'd come into my tent and have sex with me. Very convenience!

He can just sex me up. Seriously. He can lick and suck and blow and caress and touch and poke and probe every nook and cranny of my hot walrus body because he's so handsome and sexy and SO FUCKING GORGEOUS. Everytime I see him, my eyes cloud over with lust as I start to cum a Waterfall of Lurve.

Yes, it will be a true Waterfall of Lurve. As the creamy fluid starts to flow out of my vadge, it will be spotted with light pink hearts resembling paper cutouts and dark pink and purple glitter because my Waterfall of Lurve will SHINE ON in times of adversities.

Heath Ledger. A Playhound in the Playgirl Mansion.

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UPDATED ON 23RD JANUARY, 2008!

As most of you have heard, Heath Ledger is now DEAD. As in srsly, he's dead.

While Heath Ledger's gone down the drain in terms of looks (have you seen the latest photos of him? UNHOT TO THE FULLEST), he still remains as one of our Playhounds because of the versatility of his fine acting skills and ... .... yeh, he used to be motherfucking hotnezzz.

We love you always, Heath. And thank God that you'd at least finished the Batman movie so we'll be able to watch it and remember you for a long time (though I'm slightly disgruntled that you chose to OD on sleeping pills before you completed the new Terry Gilliam movie, BUT NEVER MIND THAT).

You're always in our hearts, minds and floral vadges.

Heath Ledger. An honourary Playhound.

2006-05-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

hi everyone...

i'm a shy playmate and this is my virginal experience as a blogger in this prestigious mansion.

and i just want to say that my drawing is better and i am hotter.

WTF 2

2006-05-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

T0d@e dE@r De@r nv g0 2 w0rK. Hee* Hee* s0 n0tTie buT I stiL| |0vE de@r mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz mUacKz!!``~

C H E E B Y E L A N C H I O W K A N I NENG NENG POKS

WTF 2

This picture was captioned as " smth to cheer you up"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It should be changed to " something that will make you want to gouge your eyes out and wear your intestines as a boa"

By now, almost everyone has heard of the infamous C&K and they're so full of rubbish. It used to be entertaining laughing at pea-brains but the pea-brains are shrinking mine.

If you stare at the picture hard enough your corneas will burst into flames and your genitals will start jiggling in fits.

The picture doesnt have a more suitable word worthy of description besides FUGLY. They look like monkeys with shaggy pubic hair. The eyebrows look like worms and their lips like garden slug. I would even go out to say that the person who drew this was mocking them.
and they posted it on their blog.

NgggGGEHEHHEHEH.

An PGM WTF

2006-05-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

Yes. besides being a haven dripping with hot men, Playgirl mansion also houses shitty people who will be called WTFs.

All hail PGM WTF 1

M I S S P O O N A N I _ H E A D

NOW. what do you call someone who posts close-eyed pictures of themselves?

A Poonani-head. If thats too much of a mouthful then nurul does fine.

Why, WHY would anyone post a picture on friendster, with them looking like someone is performing cunninglingus on them?

"Hey! Maybe she just wants a picture of herself smiling and closing her eyes? Why are you such a bitch?"

No shit-head. That is the face of a cunninglingus victim. If you don't believe me, ask her.

JULES'S PLAYHOUND NO. THREE!

2006-05-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCING PLAYHOUND NUMBER THREE, OH MY FELLOW PLAYGIRLS!
KWON SANG WOO!

Dear darling Sang Woo,

I'm writing this letter to you to express my undying love for you. Please please read this letter because I believe that you will find no other fan in this world who will love you as much as I do now.

I love you, I swear to God I do. I love you like God loves the world, like a mother loves her child, like a fat kid loves chocolate. I love you like a nympho loves sex, like a paedophile loves little childrens' genitals. I FREAKIN' LOVE YOU! :D :D :D

I want you to rape me. I want you to rip my hymen apart because only someone as worthy as you would be able to rape a pretty princess virgin like me. I want your schlong in my poonani because I know that we will fit perfectly, because you are the missing piece to the puzzle that is my floral-patterned cheebye. You are the prince who is supposed to climb my Cheebye Tower with my Rapunzel Cheebye Hair and kiss my clit lips to wake my vagina up from its 19-year-old slumber.

My vagina's in a coma, and only you can wake me up. :)

I really think that we should have sex every night. Please call me.

Love always,

Jules.

woohoo!

2006-05-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO GET LAID.

Not really la, i just felt like saying that. I thought that my first post should leave an impression and if we are all here to be slutty hot playgirls then I think that its purrrfect.

PLAYHOUND NO.2

HUGE.. i mean HUGH JACKMAN

that 's him smiling at me. YES i am behind the camera. so cute right.

and that's him again right looking all hot and dangerous right before I pull of his towel and indulge him in the 754689 sex positions that I know.

huge jackman is so damn hot la. im just really bored at research right now, so I decided to run a search for some hotness. weeeeeeee.

P L A Y H O U N D NUMERO U N O

2006-05-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

my fellow playgirls. Let us Unite it giving Josh HEARTNETT the best blowjobs ever. He is so hawt i want to RAPE HIM.

NONONOONONONONO.

i want HIM TO RAPE ME. ('o') <--- this is the suck cock face trademark that will end all the posts from now on.

Update

2006-05-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the delay in updates. too many morons have been bombarding me with emails about how to have boobies as jiggly as ours but they can just suck cock and die. But of course nobody can suck cock like us.

Here's a list of the FAQs. Jules, Prah and Mavis please contribute.

1) Why playgirl mansion?
Because we are playful girls. When i say play i mean fondle. But we're subtle innocent creatures without the presence of hot men that's why its playgirls, not fondlegirls. Mansion because its reflective of the size of the openings of our CBs after frequent gang-bangs.

2) You guys are fugly and you call yourself supermodels?
You are blind yet you claim us to be fugly? pfffffffft.

3) Can I be a playgirl?
Absolutely not. because nobody is able to be as beautiful as us. Even if you are you probably don't know how to appreciate it.

4) If playboy has playmates, what does playgirl have?
Well, what's the most logical name? Playhounds of course! We like our men rough and manly and not like some prissy shit aka Draco malfoy whose sole purpose in practicing magic is to make his flaccid party hotdog fly. and for him, fly means to twitch upwards and flop flat down again.

5) Horny sluts! why tell the world about your insatiable greed for penises?
i don't remember. In any case. Slutty is like being the elites of society.

The New Addition

2006-05-14T22:42:00.000-07:00

Mavis ( aka Mrs Jake Gyllenhal)

No. I didn't rip this off a Prada ad campaign. This is one of the 2 latest additions to our glam blog. As you can tell from this picture, Mavis and Weiming were best of friends on and off the runway. They made millions and are touted to take over Ziyi Zhang( Zhhhaaang ) as the next asian beauties. What great Geishas they'll make. They have not sold their mizuage due to an overwhelming influx of bids. Mavis's is touted to be worth over 2.5 million euros.

Priya (MC Balraju)

A woman of colour is what she likes to call herself. Tearing down barriers of racial discrimination is how she rose the ranks of DJ wannabes. She is a woman who constantly upgrades herself, from a small-town prata seller into a world-class talkshow host on her own show- Papodums with Priya.

She is now taking a break from it all to gain inspiration for her new album- I am Priya.

W E L C O M E

2006-05-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

All hail the birth of the best blog in the universe.

such a brilliant idea can only be conjured up with matching intellect and that can only be possible with the two people above.

One will be shocked at how an idea like that could be thought of within 5 seconds but to people with IQs of 300 like us, it is no mean feat.

All that I've said is backed up by centuries of knowledge and research. If you disagree, then you are most definitely a penis.

Time to introduce the pioneers.

Jules(better known as Alessandra Ambrosio):

One glance at the picture and you can tell she is a beauty with brains. With her mile-long legs in mind, many fashion houses designed the mini-skirt that she is wearing now. in the picture she is seductively biting her lip like nobody else can whilst thinking of improving the hierachy structure of the UN. Everything about this fine lady screams couture. The bag is so obviously a Karl lagerfeld for Etro(custom-made).

But being a superior human being. Jealousy arises from the lower caste. Once, Gofugyourself.com tried to post a picture of her on the website but it burst into flames immediately.

Weiming(better known as Eugenia Volodina/Hana Soukupova/Snejana Onopka)

As one should be able to tell, this fellow has the makings of a goddess. He freelanced on and off runways with the likes of giselle and gemma ward while moonlighting as a assasin who killed plenty of children who scream in publiuc transport. For such a major contribution to society, he has been given many awards, including a Singapore Quality Class Award for the best assasination skills ever. He is making plans to kill people who dont bathe for more than 24hrs as well as rude old people who don't die soon enough.